Counselling can get uncomfortable.

As a counsellor, I have the privilege of guiding clients through their journeys, both online and in-person. Each client's path is unique, but their dedication and resilience never cease to inspire me. Surprisingly, many breakthroughs happen during uncomfortable moments in counselling, and it's important to address them empathetically when they arise.

Here are some common, albeit uncomfortable, experiences and aspects of counselling that clients may encounter: 

1. No Quick Fixes: Mental well-being doesn't come with a quick fix. And none of us want to hear this. Counselling is like going to the gym—you get stronger and start seeing changes with commitment and effort. 

2. Dealing with Setbacks: Growth isn't just about progress; it's also about handling setbacks. Initially, you might feel a sense of achievement after a few counselling sessions. You feel understood and empowered, and you may even adopt new habits and boundaries. This creates a "counselling high," giving you hope that positive changes are underway and that past mistakes and experiences won't recur. However, this high may be followed by a low when you find yourself slipping back into old habits and reacting to triggers. Clients often feel disheartened and guilty. It's crucial to acknowledge these moments and help clients stay committed to the journey.

3. Unrealistic Expectations: Clients may set unrealistic goals for themselves, expecting to overcome multiple, deeply ingrained habits in a short period of time while dealing with present day challenges, relationships, responsibilities, and other obstacles life throws at them. Counselling involves prioritizing goals and recognizing that progress may vary across different areas of life.

4. Forgiveness and Patience: While forgiveness and self-compassion are encouraged, they shouldn't be excuses to perpetuate negative habits. It's a moment to recognize that, despite your best efforts, you fell. Developing the ability to be kind and understanding towards oneself while also being responsible for one's actions is a process that requires time and practice.

5. Letting Go of Survival Habits: Coping (or survival) mechanisms often turn into habits over time. Habits that helped you survive a tough season or specific environment may not be helpful in your current season or in another environment. Letting go of these habits may feel unnatural and frustrating at times.

6. Accountability: Often, we seek counselling because of the pain caused by others. Consequently, we may not anticipate confronting our own patterns of behavior that contribute to that pain. Taking accountability involves acknowledging our role in situations, being willing to change, and actively working towards better outcomes.

Clients may hesitate to share the discomforts that counseling can cause out of fear of judgment or appearing weak to their counsellor. And sometimes clients don't recognize these "mental blocks" until their counsellor points them out.

In my opinion, addressing these mental blocks caused by the counselling process when they arise is crucial for the client's progress. These moments require empathy, proceeding at the client's pace, and offering encouragement. My clients and I focus on taking small, realistic steps forward at their own pace. At the very least, providing clients with the space to express their discomforts with counselling fosters trust and facilitates progress.

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Nayana (pronounced as "9na") works as Counsellor (HPCSA) in South Africa. She runs a counselling private practice online & in-person in White River, South Africa. Nayana believes that her client's are experts on their own lives and her role is to help them place things into perspective.

Feel free to contact  Nayana if you'd like work with her in counselling. After-hours sessions are available online to accommodate those with busy schedules. College students discounts available.